I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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