is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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