Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize