genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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