Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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