If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
