Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
