She's JV to your varsity
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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