My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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