Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
