She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
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