So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize