Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
