I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Randomize
