I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
