College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
my god I love twenty year old dicks
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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