Where are you?
In a non slutty way
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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