Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize