No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
