I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
