apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
