When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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