These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
