You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
