I'm gonna have a badass scar
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
