things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Randomize
