i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
