You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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