he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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