I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
