I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
