Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
