Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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