im drinking this country out of the recession.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
