I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize