i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
