Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
