was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
