Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
