Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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