My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
We got so high we made milksteak
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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