I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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