I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
