I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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