Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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