Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
