Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
