the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
nutella sex= disaster
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize