Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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