My Higher Power is John Stamos
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Randomize