remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
