Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
