I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
