so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
