giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
