he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
