Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
