GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
