you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize