i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
