they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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