my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
